Indulging, and moving on
Last night, I went out to celebrate a friend’s birthday. I indulged in some fried food, ate a rich dinner, and had three alcoholic drinks. Now, I am proud to say that I shared the calamari appetizer, and ate only half of my champagne and lobster risotto (I took the other half home to my boyfriend), but I am upset with myself about one thing: I took the cash out of the bank to pay for it, knowing that I had a pending charge that would come out of my account sometime this week. I knew as I walked home from the restaurant that I should go to the bank and put some extra cash back into my account, so that I wouldn’t get dinged with an NSF charge if the fee came out overnight last night, but I didn’t because I was feeling full and a little drunk, and I was lazy.
The pending charge was attempted. I got hit with a $45 NSF fee. I was very, very angry with myself when I woke up and saw the state of my bank account.
Then, I took a deep breath. I told someone how I was feeling, and realised that they still loved me, even though I make mistakes. I realised that I should treat myself the same way, so I’m letting it go. In the greater scheme of things, $45 isn’t worth beating myself up over. Sure, it’s not an inconsequential amount of money to me, with my state of debt and stage of life… but there’s nothing that can be done about it now, except to move on and continue working towards being the best me that I can be.
So, I forgive myself for the fried food. I forgive myself for the champagne and apple-pie-flavoured drinks. I forgive myself for the $45 mistake. And I realise that I don’t really have to apologise for them, anyway.